21stcenturygonzo.com

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so i thought it was pretty fitting that soon after i made my last post i was flipping thru the channels and happened upon an HBO documentary “friends of god: a road trip”….its pretty crazy/scary and i recommend checking it out.

dunno if i was the only one to make it 28 years without knowing that drive thru churches actually exist……

there is a segment where they interview a christian comedian (who is remarkably unfunny no matter what your faith is).
the only funny thing he said was when he started ranting about how oppressed christians were in america….ya if there is any sector of america that has been the subject of oppression and injustice its definitely been the christians………..

on a totally unrelated note when you guys leave comments i’d love it if you let me know how you found my blog, just curious how all of you are stumbling upon my site.

god bless

mr fantastic left a comment to my “damn you catholicism” post asking if i hated all religions equally or catholicism in particular.
i started a response to his comment, and it went a little longer then i anticipated so i figured i would just make it a stand alone entry in case anyone else out there thought i was picking on catholicism unfairly.

btw, thank you for the comment mr. fantastic i welcome and encourage feedback on my posts!

here is my response:

i don’t “hate” any religion, altho i do find most of them to be pretty ridiculous….also i find religions that preach a duty to convert non-believers (such as catholicism and islam) to be much more offensive….having faith in something is fine, however once you try and use your personal religious beliefs as the basis for normative policy, you are crossing the line in my opinion.
catholicism tends to be much more active in trying to regulate, and legislate morality, which i find highly offensive.
whereas its very hard to have any ill will towards buddihism, which does not seek to forcibly impose its doctrine onto other people.
the basic tenents of most religions are actually positive, however in most cases the followers and proponents of organized religions tend to be raging hypocrites, often abandoning the very foundations of their creed.
however i have no problem whatsoever with people of faith. my parents are active protestants (they belong to a very progressive church, gay marriage is fine, women priests are fine, not opposed to abortion etc) and i was baptized and confirmed.
i am no longer religious, however i am not an atheist. i don’t believe that its possible to ever really know,and whenever someone tries to claim they know anything for a fact in regards to religion, or “gods will” they lose all credibility with me.
there is almost nothing more atrocious then someone trying to force their personal beliefs onto other people (the sole exception to that is the secular idea that no person should be harmed unjustly), and the amount of bloodshed, cruelty, and suffering that has been invoked in the name of religion is sickening.
all that said my rant on catholicism was mostly just for comedic value.

take a look at your tax dollars at work…this is so fucked….wonder how the cop woulda acted if the guy was white…

so i was watching the deerhunter again tonight.

for those of you who aren’t familiar; robert deniro, christopher walken, and meryl streep (looking young and fine) star in a powerful portrayal of the way the vietnam war effects (affects?) a small town in pittsburgh.

i’m not going to describe the plot, but i def recommend checking it out if you don’t mind being super depressed for a lil.

i went through a phase when i was younger where i was absolutely obsessed with the vietnam war, and read every book i could get my hands on dealing with it, as well as watched pretty much every movie made about it.

without a doubt apocaplypse now, full metal jacket, and the deerhunter, are the most powerful, and moving depictions, however both apocaplypse now and FMJ deal solely with the actual combat experience (altho FMJ has an amazing boot camp section) while the deerhunter is the only one of the three which really concentrates more on the effect the war has on both the men who served and the communities they came from, and its very moving.

i don’t want this to be a long emo post about how “war is bad, ohhhhhh noooooes” cuz ya duh who the fuck with half a brain doesn’t think war is bad.

at the same time i’m not one of those super pacificts whose mantra is there is never a justification for war, cuz in some cases i think it is warranted, ie: brutal dictator killing thousands and trying to take over the world….the second part of that condition is pretty important as no one seems to care when you kill thousands of people in your OWN country just don’t go invading poland or we MIGHT start caring.

i’m also not going to enter into discourse about how the actions taken by the allies after the conclusion of the first world war led to a climate rife for hitler to convince ppl to follow him etc… cuz if you wanna hear about that go take a poli sci or history class (not being sarcastic its really very interesting).

however every time i think about vietnam it just seems so fucking ludicrous, and the devastating effect it had on thousands of families, and the whole fucking country is mind-boggling.

i know this is neither entertaining nor profound (the title is ironic) but just something thats been on my mind alot.

i always picture dr. strangelove (the movie not the character), just a bunch of bitter old men sitting around smoking cigars and plotting wars (there’s no fighting in the war room!!!) that no one they know or love will have to go fight, and it makes me wonder about compulsory military service.

then i think about how thankful i am my lazy ass didn’t have to serve in the military and i get all conflicted….especally cuz why should people be forced to serve an agenda they don’t agree with?

maybe it should only be compulsory for people that support the war….oh you wanna invade iraq alright here’s a gun motherfucker, keep your head down.

gaaaaaaa this is prolly a shitty topic for a blog post, as there is no way i can adequately address the subject and however i end it i’m going to feel like my first girlfriend felt the night i lost my virginity, but watching the movie again filled me with a desire to just vent a little, so there deal with it….a totally unfunny and depressing blog post….they can’t all be winners.

but go out and watch deerhunter and see how fucking funny you feel.

as many of you may know i’ve played poker professionally for almost five years now, and while i love the autonomy it grants me, i think i may have found a job opportunity that is too good to pass up.

seems that even though AIG lost over $61 million dollars last quarter, needed a massive bailout from the gov’t, and in general sucks balls at being a feasible commercial enterprise, they are passing out about $165 million in bonuses to their executives.

according to the business dictionary, a bonus is defined as:

1. Compensation paid to an employee or employees for achieving a particular sales goal or organizational objective. This is above and beyond either a Commission or a Salary. A corporation achieving a 10% increase in profits may distribute part of the earnings as a bonus to its employees.

2. An unexpected benefit occurring as the result of making a particular action.

so clearly it should come as no suprise to anyone that a bonus is in order…..

and since it seems as though my request for a personal federal financial bailout is not going to be approved, figured my only hope for fincial security in these bleak economic conditions is to get hired by a horrifically mismanaged corporation.

i have already polished up my cover letter and resume, and i def think i’m qualifed, seeing as i have demonstrated a consistent willingness, and ability, to lose massive amounts of money and make poor decisions.

i just hope i don’t fuck up the interview!!!

just wanted to thank everyone who has left a comment, not going to respond to most comments unless they ask a specific question, but i def encourage you to keep leaving them, and didn’t want ya’ll to think i was being rude and ignoring you/not appreciative!

xoxo.

where the fuck do you get off being opposed to birth control AND abortion?
pick one and go with it for fucks sake.

look i hate condoms as much as the next guy, but my place doesn’t have a bathtub or a jacuzzi, and there is no way i can afford to go on “romantic horseback rides” every freaking month.

so you either need to come out with a “jesus loves anal” doctrine asap, or stop being such damn hypocrites.

THE CATHOLIC CHURCH:
where you can molest choir boys to your hearts content, but god literally forbids trying to stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

hey sweetie,

i hope i didnt offend you in my last blog post.
i just know how much you love funny men and i was trying to impress you with my sense of humor, in the  hopes that you might someday want to fellatiate me in a move theater. and i’m really hilarious trust me, i make all the men at the VA hospital giggle.
i really think we could be great together, although seeing as you like “full house” and “definately maybe” i’m guessing we have different tastes in cinema.

but hey that should work out perfectly, cuz when we go see movies i like and you have the back of your head to the screen, you won’t be upset about missing the first 5 minutes of the movie.

and in the movies that you like you’ll be there alone.

think about it.

xoxo.

oh alanis how i love the fact that you went down on david coulier in a movie theatre.
and i am particularly impressed that you managed to snag ryan renolds. but for fucks sake girl pick up a dictionary!

ok fine you can’t be bothered to educate yourself on our crazy complicated language being canadian and all so ima do this for you cuz you’re kinda cute and i dig the asian theme you choose for you interior decoration, BUT I’M ONLY DOING THIS ONCE SO PAY ATTENTION.

rain on your wedding day= not ironic

a shit ton of spoons when you need a knife= not ironic

free ride when you’ve already paid= not ironic

death row pardon two minutes after the sentence is carried out= hilarious/super fucked up, but not ironic

good advice that you just didn’t take= not ironic

first flight that scared of flying dude takes crashes= not ironic

traffic jam when your already late= not ironic

a no smoking sign on your cigarette break = not ironic

meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his wife = not ironic

WRITING A SONG ABOUT IRONY AND NOT KNOWING WHAT IRONY IS = IRONIC

now i’m pretty sure i cleared this all up, however if you’re still a bit confused lemme try and help out some more….

had the person getting married been a meteoroligist and it rained that would have been ironic.
had the person on the doomed airliner been a FAA saftey inspector on his way to give a speech about how incredibly safe airline travel was, that would have been awesomely ironic.

thinK about that for your next hit single: “isn’t it defined and used correctly” where hopefully you make specific comparisons to the sexual prowess of dave and ryan.

thanks doll muah.

ps: if you are interested in any further “PRIVATE” grammatical tutoring, holla at me